Introduction
In just a few short years, generative AI has transformed from a novelty into a daily companion for millions of professionals. We brainstorm with it, troubleshoot code alongside it, and even lean on it for creative writing. For developers in particular, AI has revolutionized the practice of pair programming, a once entirely human exercise that has now evolved into something more hybrid, more dynamic, and more personal.
But with this constant interaction comes an unexpected question: if we spend more time giving instructions to machines than talking to people, what does that do to our social habits? Could we be training ourselves out of politeness, even as AI itself becomes more ethical?
Pair Programming, Reimagined
At its core, pair programming is a software development practice where two programmers collaborate on the same code. One acts as the “driver,” writing the code, while the other plays the role of “observer” or “navigator,” reviewing and providing input in real time. This back-and-forth improves both the quality of the software and the skills of the team.
Enter generative AI. Today’s tools have turned this concept into what feels like “pair programming 2.0.” Instead of waiting for a colleague to review a pull request or explain a bug, developers can ask an AI assistant to:
- Generate a code snippet,
- Suggest optimizations,
- Refactor logic,
- Explain frameworks or libraries,
- Spot potential vulnerabilities.
In this sense, AI has become a patient, tireless programming partner—ready to brainstorm at 2 a.m. or debug on a Sunday afternoon. The following is a sample conversation with ChatGPT while writing a Bash script:
The following a snippet of a conversation with Gemini:
Talking to AI More Than People
This shift means we now spend more time chatting with AI than ever before. Developers, writers, researchers, and professionals of all stripes are forming habits around the way they communicate with machines.
Here’s the catch: unlike humans, AI doesn’t require politeness. A prompt like “Fix this code” gets the same response as “Could you please help me refactor this code?” Efficiency wins, but social nuance loses.
And therein lies the risk. If we get too comfortable barking commands at our AI partners, we may unconsciously carry those habits into real-world interactions. It becomes easier to forget the softeners, “please,” “thank you,” “would you mind”, that grease the wheels of human relationships.
Ethics vs. Etiquette
We already know AI has been programmed with guardrails. It declines harmful requests, flags unethical use, and enforces safety standards. In short, it’s becoming more ethical.
But ethics is only one side of the equation. What about etiquette? What about the softer, more human practices that bind communities together?
Imagine if AI went one step further:
- Suggesting, “Want to add a ‘please’ to that?”
- Offering, “Would you like me to phrase this more politely?”
- Encouraging, “That request might come across as blunt—shall I reword it?”
Such nudges could help us maintain the courtesies that make human conversation pleasant, even when we’re mostly talking to machines. It wouldn’t be about shaming the user, but about reinforcing good habits.
Please, Thank You, and the Future of Human-AI Interaction
At first glance, it may seem trivial whether we say “please” to AI. After all, it doesn’t get offended. But language shapes thought, and thought shapes action. If AI is our constant collaborator, whether as a co-coder, co-writer, or brainstorming partner, then every interaction becomes practice for how we engage with the world.
Politeness is not about appeasing the machine. It’s about protecting the human in us.
Conclusion
AI has redefined pair programming and made collaboration faster and smarter. But in doing so, it has also invited us into new kinds of relationships, ones where we issue instructions constantly, without the social rituals that govern human-to-human exchanges.
The danger is subtle but real: in skipping over “please” with AI, we might start skipping it with people too. If AI can help enforce ethics, perhaps it should also gently remind us about etiquette. Not because machines demand it, but because we need it.
So the next time you’re prompting your AI co-pilot, try adding that extra word. “Please.” It’s a small step, but one that keeps us human, even in an increasingly machine-mediated world. 🤣🤣